Geometric by Bella Harris
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A List of My Failed Love Affairs with Various Numbers, Or Today In My Math of Social Choice Class I Accidentally Told The Teacher Out Loud That I Thought Her Theorem Was Stupid
- i’m nineteen years old and i didn’t mean it,
- what i meant was i don’t believe in divisible objects.
- nothing is divisible, like a chocolate cake that’s decorated so beautifully, or a plot
of land where i’ve hidden seventy five seeds in secret places, or my attention span
as i sit on the couch watching you watch me read.
- on a quiz i forgot to simplify the fractions, or forgot how,
- but honestly, 12/40 seems very different from 3/10, even though they are the same
percentage of the object~
- maybe it’s because the things that i have lost do not always taste the same once
they are found.
- i believed my teachers when they told me zero is not a number, that it is an
absence, only because i’ve watched my mother cry fully twice in my life out of
loss and it is terrifying,
- and so i know that zero is not a number, it is a thing felt.
- according to my calculations, adulthood does not happen at 365 days multiplied
by 18 birthdays, and i still have not figured out when it will happen for me, or
whether it will happen at all.
- when i cook rice with the wrong amount of water i do not count the number of
extra times i have to chew, i’m just proud of myself for not setting off the smoke
- the only way i know how to measure angles is to look at my elbow when my chin
is in my hand. it’s in my peripheral vision and
- sometimes i see a beautiful human and i just want to look at them instead.
- when my teacher said she wouldn’t take it personally and the whole class laughed,
i counted on my fingers the difference between here and there and i got the
- there are 26 letters in the alphabet, and i guess we just have different value
Hannah Nahar is a writer and student in Boston. Her work is published or forthcoming in Sixpenny Magazine, One Sentence Poems, and Palooka. She is a prose reader for Transcendence Magazine and a senior editor for Siblini Art and Literature. She likes hybrid forms, yoga classes, and drinking tea in coffee shops.