How To Be Something Other Than by SaraEve Fermin


Photo by Bella Harris
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How To Be Something Other Than

This is how to lick the empty spoon,
blow out a candle, sing Happy Birthday
to yourself, ignore the acid simmering in
your stomach, think of vanilla icing.

How to chew ice, straws, pens,
how to swallow gum and then
worry mass that can never be burned
away.

How to cup your hands smaller,
relearn the size of a playing card, how to
repeat ‘only a little bit, just a taste,
just a scoop, no thank you’ until you
are eating with a cake fork.

How to say you ate before you
arrived, to count the calories in
clear alcohol, how to make small popcorn
last a three hour movie,
spill most of it on the floor
in the dark.

How to smile at your barking dog
every morning that you climb on the scale,
such a smart boy,
to echo the unhappiness resonating in your
barley conscious cranium,
such a good boy,
dissatisfied with your stagnant numbers.

How to retrain your taste buds, learn to love
bitter—black tea, broccoli rabe, pickles as a
reward. How to call sweet a rotting stink,
wrinkle your nose at boxes of chocolate
and cheese fries, fried dough and frozen
cream.

How to tell him your truth.
To peel back your scabs, show him
where you keep the glass ammunition
you never unlearned. To let him
make you pancakes, steak, a seven
layer birthday cake. To cry with the door
open, to cry with abandoned. How to learn
to love a plum again, to taste it sweet
and still warm from the tree. To surround
yourself in something other than damage
and yourself.




SaraEve Fermin

SaraEve is a performance poet and epilepsy advocate from New Jersey.  A 2015 Best of the Net nominee, she has performed for both local and national events, including the 2013 Women of the World Poetry Slam and for the Greater Los Angeles Epilepsy Foundation 2015 Care and Cure Benefit to End Epilepsy in Children. The Editor in Chief of Wicked Banshee Press, a Contributing Editor for Words Dance Magazine and Book Reviewer for Swimming With Elephants Publications, her work can be found or is forthcoming in GERM Magazine, Words Dance Magazine, Drunk in a Midnight Choir and the University of Hell Anthology We Can Make Your Life Better: A Guidebook to Modern Living,, among others. Her first full length book, View From The Top of the Ferris Wheel, will be published be Emphat!c Press in 2016. She believes in the power of foxes and self publishing. Learn more here: saraeve41.wix.com/saraevepoet