A List of My Failed Love Affairs with Various Numbers, Or Today In My Math of Social Choice Class I Accidentally Told The Teacher Out Loud That I Thought Her Theorem Was Stupid by Hannah Nahar


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A List of My Failed Love Affairs with Various Numbers, Or Today In My Math of Social Choice Class I Accidentally Told The Teacher Out Loud That I Thought Her Theorem Was Stupid

  1. i’m nineteen years old and i didn’t mean it,
  2. what i meant was i don’t believe in divisible objects.
  3. nothing is divisible, like a chocolate cake that’s decorated so beautifully, or a plot
    of land where i’ve hidden seventy five seeds in secret places, or my attention span
    as i sit on the couch watching you watch me read.
  4. on a quiz i forgot to simplify the fractions, or forgot how,
  5. but honestly, 12/40 seems very different from 3/10, even though they are the same
    percentage of the object~
  6. maybe it’s because the things that i have lost do not always taste the same once
    they are found.
  7. i believed my teachers when they told me zero is not a number, that it is an
    absence, only because i’ve watched my mother cry fully twice in my life out of
    loss and it is terrifying,
  8. and so i know that zero is not a number, it is a thing felt.
  9. according to my calculations, adulthood does not happen at 365 days multiplied
    by 18 birthdays, and i still have not figured out when it will happen for me, or
    whether it will happen at all.
  10. when i cook rice with the wrong amount of water i do not count the number of
    extra times i have to chew, i’m just proud of myself for not setting off the smoke
    detector.
  11. the only way i know how to measure angles is to look at my elbow when my chin
    is in my hand. it’s in my peripheral vision and
  12. sometimes i see a beautiful human and i just want to look at them instead.
  13. when my teacher said she wouldn’t take it personally and the whole class laughed,
    i counted on my fingers the difference between here and there and i got the
    answer wrong.
  14. there are 26 letters in the alphabet, and i guess we just have different value
    systems.




Hannah Nahar

Hannah Nahar is a writer and student in Boston. Her work is published or forthcoming in Sixpenny Magazine, One Sentence Poems, and Palooka. She is a prose reader for Transcendence Magazine and a senior editor for Siblini Art and Literature. She likes hybrid forms, yoga classes, and drinking tea in coffee shops.