A Dream About You, Again (and Again and Again) by Hannah Dellabella

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A Dream About You, Again (and Again and Again)

i.
You stand in the deep end
of an empty swimming pool.
It’s a box inside a box —
everything gray-green concrete
even the sky. It might be the color
of your eyes. You say nothing
while I talk from the edge.
If I fall in, surely I will break.

ii.
I am in a square room
at a gray party — I know everyone; I know
no one. I sip champagne
until you arrive, all that missing color
concentrated in you. Everyone evaporates
through the walls. For months
I waited for you to say “I want you
back,” but I can’t look at you
when you do. Every part of you
implores me, but the electricity in your hands
only hurts me now, and I resist.

iii.
Purged from the almost-yellow
of our tiled high school walls,
I board the Bayonne bus knowing
you will take one to Jersey City.
Across the aisle, your best friend
looks at me like I am a fish
unaware of its bowl. You board
my bus; the cracked brown leather
sticks to my thighs like tar. Trapped between
the window and your body, I squirm
when you tell me you love me.
I’m trying to leave, but there’s nowhere
to go.

 


Hannah Dellabella

Hannah Dellabella works as an assistant editor in New York City. She is a recent Carnegie Mellon grad, where she studied creative writing and professional writing. She is a native of Bayonne, New Jersey, and is very aware of her Jersey accent. She is a compulsive imaginer. Connect with her @hdellabella.