My Lover is the Sunlight by Lydia Havens

Delicate Chains by Jon & David Swartz
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MY LOVER IS THE SUNLIGHT
After Hozier & Azra Tabassum

In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Spirit. In the name of her parents,
who say I have tainted her chance at Heaven.
In the name of the rosary beads that shattered
between my palms in anger. In the name of
the desert I am drowning in. In the name of
the gorgeous girl I never meant to make a
stained glass window of.

Forgive me, Father, for she and I were not chiseled
from the man’s bone, from the man’s fingers
or the man’s lust. We have hearts that are cracking
whips across our insides; we have hearts seeking
atonement. Each lashing is another letter to Him:

Dear God, she is my keeper.
Dear God, I am meant to lie with her.
Dear God, we are meant to be in Your eyes.
Dear God, please. Please.

I want to hold onto my faith. I want to see
His face turn into Hers when she is next to me.
I can’t hold my heart down much longer.
Grant my heart its wings, grant our love
the sunlight. God, we were not born of ill bones
or sick minds. The weight of the world
is beginning to feel like stones in our pockets.
They plant another poisonous fruit, and
we drown again. Dear God, she and I
refuse to believe we are sick. But if we are,
do not heal us.

Amen, amen, amen.
 


Lydia Havens

Lydia Havens writes and lives in Tucson. She is the Executive Poetry Editor/Assistant Editor in Chief of Transcendence Magazine, as well as an intern for Spoken Futures, Inc. Her work has previously appeared or is forthcoming in FreezeRay Poetry, The Pulp Zine, burntdistrict, and Vademecum Magazine, among other places. She blogs at lydiahavens.tumblr.com, which she uses mostly as a moodboard and a place to talk about her passions.