Not Knowing the Hudson by Adam Tedesco

Print by Lola Donoghue
Connect w/ Lola :: Facebook :: Instagram :: Website :: Etsy Shop ::

Not Knowing the Hudson

I don’t know what you were fishing for,
or if you were,
and I don’t know how it was you came to fall,
or if you did.

The last I knew you were shooting dope,
and that was cool.
We all were.

Your sister told me
while, without asking,
cooking my eightball.
But it was cool.

Then we smoked
until we dripped
with smoke
the night she told me.

I did not know you
the way you know
one whose loss you grieve.

I knew you
the way I know a boy who wrestled Saddiq
for his medicine
beneath a window
where a man twenty years older lowers envelopes
in exchange for cash and companionship.

The way I know the rats along the Hudson
encircling the boatyard at dusk,
larger and hungrier than cats,
barking threats through glowing eyes
and slick ropes of tail.

The way I know an asthma attack
beneath the falls,
current rushing me from the crags,
forgetting how to float.

The way I know the backless black surface of the river
on moonless nights
in rudderless search for air.

I don’t know if you knew me,
or if accidents happen,
and I don’t know when I started writing this,
or why.

The last I knew
I’d been sitting at a spiritually messy desk
for twenty years,
forgetting you had drowned.

Adam Tedesco

Adam Tedesco has worked as a shipbuilder, a meditation instructor, a telephone technician and cultural critic for the now disbanded Maoist Internationalist Movement. His recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in decomP, Drunk In A Midnight Choir, MadHat Lit, Pine Hills Review, Similar:Peaks::, Freeze Ray Poetry and Cartridge Lit. Most recently his unique poetic voice has been utilized by Canadian conceptual artist Isabelle Pauwels as part of her upcoming “27 Across 25 Down” project. He lives in Albany, New York with his wife and two children. :